Dump depraved Dave now, CBS!

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CBS has got to fire David Letterman immediately after affair with employees

CBS has got to dump David Letterman. Right now.

If the Tiffany Network continues to coddle the crotchety king of late night, it will rightly be known as the destination of choice for any girl who jiggles, giggles and puts out repeatedly for a man old enough to be her father.

Dave must go. If not, CBS will have lost any remaining shred of credibility, not to mention common decency.

By his own admission, the married Letterman has bedded any number of women working under His Highness. Problem is, he doesn't seem to know precisely how many. And brass has long looked the other way.

Letterman's dream life came crashing to earth when an ex-boyfriend of one of his conquests allegedly attempted to extort him for $2 million to keep the affairs quiet. This development certainly makes Dave a victim -- a victim of his own recklessness.

The very livelihoods of the young women who caught Dave's fancy depend on making Letterman happy. But Letterman, 62, certainly knew what he was doing.

This is a full-grown adult who made a grown-up choice. And he chose to sleep with junior staffers rather than take the standard route and walk to the corner bar to conduct a sad, ordinary affair. Instead, he's working out some twisted Freudian issues on dewy-eyed underlings.

Letterman is guilty of cheating on the woman he eventually married after a 20-year relationship and trashing the trust of their 6-year-old son, Harry. This was not one little slip-up, but a deviant pattern. And when Letterman got lazy, egotistical and sloppy, he became a ticking time bomb -- a walking, breathing, sexual-harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.

The man who has been famously stalked in the past intentionally made himself into stalker-bait. Worse, he became the punch line in one of his own Monica Lewinsky jokes, which Dave told with such glee not so long ago.

A former staffer at "Late Show" described to me a "toxic" atmosphere in the studio. She said women flirt mightily with the man. Sometimes, it works in their favor.

Everyone inside the program knows what it takes to get ahead.

In recent years, Dave's comedic chops have taken on a mean streak, as well. He has shown a wicked hatred of Republicans, which reached a climax when he joked about Sarah Palin's 14-year-old daughter, Willow, getting "knocked up" in the seventh inning of a Yankee game by Alex Rodriguez.

CBS brass could have taken that gag as a sign that Letterman was slipping. Instead, bosses chose to ignore it.

The network rescued Letterman from a future of obscurity in 1993, when NBC denied him his dream promotion as host of the "Tonight" show. CBS dusted off the Ed Sullivan Theater in Midtown for Dave and made him rich beyond his wildest dreams.

But Letterman became the ratings champ of his 11:35 p.m. time slot this year only by default -- after NBC stupidly replaced Jay Leno with the dreadful Conan O'Brien. Who knows if Dave will remain a winner?

Dave has repeatedly whined publicly about CBS's failure to bow down to him. Now, the network has a chance to strike back at this ungrateful wretch.

Americans would not stand for this kind of behavior from a government official. Should a jock act in a like manner, his morals clause would likely kick in.

Letterman's contract expires at the end of next year. I count on CBS to pull Letterman off the air, then kick him to the curb.

It couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

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Mon Oct 5, 9:29 am ET

NEW YORK – The defense lawyer for the CBS News producer charged with trying to extort $2 million from David Letterman is calling the talk-show host "a master at manipulating audiences."

Attorney Gerald Shargel defended Robert J. "Joe" Halderman on Monday during a round of interviews on network television morning shows.

Shargel says the charge against his client is "so obviously out of character to the point of not making any sense."

He says that Letterman manipulates audiences for a living and that to think he "gave the entire story and there's nothing more to be said is simply wrong."

Halderman is a producer for the true-crime show "48 Hours Mystery." He pleaded not guilty Friday in Manhattan to attempted first-degree grand larceny.

Shargel says he's looking forward to cross-examining Letterman.

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Keeping quiet about an apparent extortion attempt against David Letterman and “The Late Show,” CBS worked over the weekend to stamp out unauthorized copies of the late-night host’s televised explanation.

The network did not post official copies of the segment on CBS.com or on YouTube, proving that while media companies are now generally eager to distribute their material on the Web, there are still some TV moments they would rather not spread widely.

In a remarkable 10-minute segment Thursday night, Mr. Letterman told viewers of a Connecticut man’s suspected $2 million extortion attempt, predicated on evidence of Mr. Letterman’s sexual relationships with female employees. The suspect, Robert Joel Halderman of CBS News, was arrested Thursday and released on bail Friday.

Copies of the segment were uploaded almost immediately to YouTube by users, but many of them were flagged by CBS for removal, citing copyright claims. The network did not provide an official copy.

“It’s incredibly odd to see CBS sitting on viral gold like that, especially when you consider how they spew out dozens of official clips a day,” said David Burch, a marketing director at TubeMogul, which tracks online viewership of videos.

CBS appears to be more lenient about archival “Late Show” clips of Mr. Letterman and Stephanie Birkitt, a former assistant who had a relationship with Mr. Letterman and who has appeared regularly on the show over the years. TubeMogul said those clips have been viewed 600,000 times on YouTube.

CBS’s decision to withhold the clips online was prompted by a request from producers at Mr. Letterman’s production company, Worldwide Pants, according to a person with knowledge of the decision.

Even without the clip of Thursday’s show, the CBS channel on YouTube had a 25 percent jump in views over the last three days, Mr. Burch said. Among the top videos were a news segment about the extortion plot.

CBS had no comment on the decision to withhold the clip. On Sunday, only one video on the CBS.com home page referred to the case: a segment from its morning show, raising the question, “Why Do Men Risk It for Sex?”

Since the revelations, the story has unfolded on television and on gossip Web sites without further comment from the intensely private Mr. Letterman, who indicated on Thursday’s program that “I don’t plan to say much more about this on this particular topic.”

He appeared on the CBS News program “Sunday Morning” for a joint interview with his sidekick Paul Shaffer, but because it was taped Tuesday and was timed to promote Mr. Shaffer’s new book, it did not refer to what the tabloids were calling a sex scandal.

Similarly, it did not come up on the Friday episode of “The Late Show,” which was taped on Thursday. But some viewers noticed a pointed comment about Mr. Letterman’s personal life by his guest on Friday’s show, Larry David, the star of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

“I’ve probably broken a record for the least amount of sex for a person who has their own television show,” Mr. David said to Mr. Letterman, adding, “I probably broke yours.”

Mr. Letterman laughed sheepishly as the audience clapped. “I don’t know,” the host said. “Oh, buddy.”

Bill Carter contributed reporting.

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An ex-"Late Show" intern unmasked herself Saturday as one of David Letterman's former flings - and sources revealed the randy funnyman keeps a bachelor pad atop the Ed Sullivan Theater.

"I was madly in love with him at the time," said Holly Hester. "I would have married him. He was hilarious."

The NYU alum, who it appears went on to become a top Hollywood producer, told TMZ.com that the relationship started in the early '90s when Letterman called and asked her on a date to the movies.

A year-long, secret romance ensued, she said, until the funnyman called it off because of their age difference.

Outside what is believed to be Hester's country home in Sebastopol, Calif. - in ritzy Sonoma County - a middle-aged man lashed out at a Daily News reporter last night. "Get the f--- out of here. We're being offered a lot of money for this s---," he said.

He then hopped in a gray SUV and floored it up a half-mile long driveway leading to the home. Hester did not emerge.

The IMDB database shows that a Holly Hester is a veteran TV producer who has worked on a string of hit shows, including "Ellen," "Drew Carey," and "Grace Under Fire." It was unclear if she is the same Hester, but public records also show a Holly Hester is married to an experienced TV graphics guy who once worked for Letterman.

The Hester quoted by TMZ made the stunning admission as a Letterman show source dished that he kept a secret bedroom above his set in the Ed Sullivan Theater on Broadway. "He doesn't have to come out," a staffer said. "He has a suite upstairs."

An ex-"Late Show" staffer said Letterman kept a room insiders dubbed "the bunker" that was open only to his favorite young female underlings.

Letterman, 62, admitted on the air Thursday that he had had several affairs, apparently while dating longtime love Regina Lasko, who he married in March. The two have a son, Harry, 5.

A longtime assistant said he had the ability to cast a spell on the ladies.

"I don't think women ever get over Dave," Laurie Diamond told London's Daily Telegraph.

A woman identified as a former paramour, Stephanie Birkitt, 34, remained in hiding Saturday. She was, until recently, dating Joe Halderman, who was arrested Thursday for allegedly threatening to go public with Letterman's dalliances unless he was paid $2 million.

A "Late Show" office worker in 1997, Birkitt quickly developed a role as Letterman's Girl Friday. She went on to appear in several skits as his comic foil. Behind the scenes, their relationship became intimate, sources said.

"The creepy relationship that Letterman maintained with Stephanie was obvious and not normal," an insider said. "She was able to do anything and everything ... It was pretty well known that Stephanie was the one that Letterman was having fun with."

In numerous interviews, Birkitt gushed about Letterman, calling him "the greatest boss I could ever have."

rschapiro@nydailynews.com

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David Letterman acknowledges in his on-air apologies to his wife and staff for having sex with co-workers that he has his work cut out for him.

As Letterman mixed wisecracks with contrition, he said his wife, Regina Lasko, had been "horribly hurt by my behavior" and stated flat-out that those affairs "are in the past."

The CBS late-night host vowed during Monday's show to repair his relationship with his wife, whom he married in March after a years-long courtship.

"Let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me," he said ruefully.

His apologies meant another big night in the ratings. The Nielsen Co.'s overnight measurement of the nation's 56 biggest markets netted Letterman's "Late Show" a 4.2 rating - higher than anything rival NBC had in prime-time.

Nielsen didn't immediately have an estimate of the size of Letterman's audience. The overnight rating was slightly less than Thursday's show, when 5.8 million people watched Letterman say he had been the victim of a $2 million blackmail threat that led him to reveal he had sex with staff members.

Monday's show was the first Letterman had taped since Thursday. While he laced the show with references to the scandal, only one other late-night host, Craig Ferguson, made any reference to it. Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon and NBC's "Saturday Night Live" had all made jokes in earlier shows, but everyone but Ferguson avoided the topic on their Monday night and Tuesday morning shows.

As host of the "Late Late Show," Ferguson follows Letterman's "Late Show." Letterman also is his boss, since Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants Inc., produces the "Late Late Show."

"The person you work for, the person you admire and respect, is caught in an embarrassing situation," said Ferguson. "And your job is to be funny about that, whilst trying to keep your own job."

"So this is my last show," he joked.

Ferguson did make light of the situation, joking that it had now been revealed how he got the job in the first place.

But Ferguson defended Letterman, calling him "the king of late-night television."

"If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out," said Ferguson. "I'm gone."

On the "Late Show," Letterman noted the cool fall weather, reporting, "It's chilly outside my house; chilly INSIDE my house."

Then he cautioned the audience, "This is only phase one of the scandal. Phase two: Next week I go on 'Oprah' and sob."

A bit later, guest Steve Martin gave Letterman his kidding consolation: "It proves that you're a human being. And we weren't really that sure before."

Martin Short, making an unannounced appearance, playfully plopped himself in Martin's lap.

"You spend one more minute on his lap, you're gonna get blackmailed," Letterman quipped.

During the hour, Letterman apologized to his staff, which, he said, had been subjected to "being browbeaten and humiliated" by reporters since his revelations.

"My thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I've gotten myself involved in," he said.

Letterman, 62, began dating Lasko in 1986, and they have a son, Harry, who was born in November 2003. All the affairs took place before Letterman's marriage, said Tom Keaney, spokesman for Letterman's production company.

Letterman arrived on stage Monday to applause and cheers from his studio audience. After drinking it in, he grinned sheepishly and inquired, with a mock stammer, "Did your, did your weekend just fly by?"

After pausing for the audience's sympathetic laughter, he went on: "I mean, I'll be honest with you folks - right now, I would give anything to be hiking on the Appalachian Trail."

"I got into the car this morning," he added, "and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me. Ouch."

In a more somber display, Letterman voiced his mea culpas. Regarding his wife, he said that, "If you hurt a person and it's your responsibility, you try to fix it."

Letterman has offered no specifics about how many women he had sex with.

But the CBS producer accused of blackmailing Letterman used pages from a former assistant's diary that described an affair with the "Late Show" host, a law enforcement official said Monday. The ex-assistant, Stephanie Birkitt, went to live with CBS News producer Robert Halderman, who found her diary describing her relationship with Letterman and used it to help blackmail him, the law enforcement official said Monday on the condition of anonymity because the investigation was ongoing.

Halderman, a producer for the true-crime show "48 Hours Mystery," pleaded not guilty last week to extortion charges.

The flood of attention on Letterman was inevitable, and the way he initially dealt with this maelstrom recalled an embarrassing dilemma for another star in 1995.

For a celebrity the caliber of Hugh Grant, publicity - including speculation of career suicide - was unavoidable when he was arrested with a prostitute on Hollywood's Sunset Strip. But then he retreated to NBC's "The Tonight Show" to try to explain.

Host Jay Leno wasted no time before asking an instant classic of a question: "What the hell were you thinking?!"

Grant's appearance provided him with some needed image rehab. It also vaulted ratings runner-up "Tonight" past Letterman's "Late Show," a leadership position Leno held through his retirement from late night earlier this year.

Since then, Letterman has reclaimed a ratings edge over new "Tonight" host Conan O'Brien.

And now he may have truly sealed the deal. Beloved by viewers and critics for decades, he has abruptly freshened the enduring Letterman brand and demonstrated he still can surprise even fans who thought they knew him well.

But it isn't the first time Letterman has shown finesse in managing a firestorm.

In June, he had a run-in with then Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin over jokes made at the expense of her teenage daughter. He emerged from a tumultuous few days of protests and demands for his dismissal with a ratings jolt. And thanks to the dumb-luck timing of the flap, he also handily upstaged his much-hyped NBC rival just as O'Brien was taking over as "Tonight" host.

Letterman apologized to Palin and her family in what became another one of his memorable performances. But he has never stopped making jokes at Palin's expense - including yet another apology to her on Monday's show, just for good measure.