http://www.newsgab.com/forum/ Have a funny Joke, Share it in here :) en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:25:01 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.newsgab.com/forum/curves/misc/rss.jpg http://www.newsgab.com/forum/ http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80717-what-do-they-call-all-nude-ballet.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:27:49 GMT The Dance Of The Dingleberries The Dance Of The Dingleberries ]]> Joke Forum rhpsfan http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80717-what-do-they-call-all-nude-ballet.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80626-why-did-siamese-twins-go-london.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:23:19 GMT So the one on tne other side could get a chance to drive. =)) So the one on tne other side could get a chance to drive.
=)) ]]> Joke Forum rhpsfan http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80626-why-did-siamese-twins-go-london.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80575-desert-outpost.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:54:42 GMT A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out... A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost.

On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks.

He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".

The Sergeant replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."

The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."

After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"

The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.

The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel.

As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

Do not hotlink ]]> Joke Forum dimitrisrblue http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80575-desert-outpost.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80536-man-deserted-beach.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:52:25 GMT A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized... A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man.. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi .

That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancyand told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?' ]]> Joke Forum scooter120 http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80536-man-deserted-beach.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80520-same-mistake.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:27:23 GMT An employee walks into the accounts office and says, "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."

The accountant replies, "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."

The employee snaps back, "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."
:punch: ]]> Joke Forum minarstud http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80520-same-mistake.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80519-clean-joke.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:25:45 GMT A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure.

And tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams: "When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!" ]]> Joke Forum minarstud http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80519-clean-joke.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80518-car-care.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:24:13 GMT A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession`even to the Supermarket which was a few... A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession`even to the Supermarket which was a few blocks from the house.

After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"
:angel: ]]> Joke Forum minarstud http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80518-car-care.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80517-mirror-art.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:22:57 GMT Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"

"No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one’s called a mirror."
>:) ]]> Joke Forum minarstud http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80517-mirror-art.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80516-twelve-pound-gold.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:21:33 GMT A Husband and Wife, Both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called... A Husband and Wife, Both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them.

Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a famous newspaper and reported that he became the proud owner of a twelve pound nugget of gold.
The editor upon hearing the seemingly extraordinary news was rather hesitant to accept it at its face value. So he sent his star reporter to interview Mr. Brown.
When the reporter came, Mr. Brown was away and his wife was alone at home..

The following interesting conversation took place between the reporter and Mrs. Brown.

Reporter: Does Mr. Brown Live here?
Mrs. Brown: Oh! Yes.

Reporter: Is he in?
Mrs. Brown: Why no, he went somewhere.

Reporter: Is it true that he owns a twelve pound nugget of gold? Mrs.
Brown: (Seeing the joke) Yes, indeed.

Reporter: Can I see the place where he found it?
Mrs. Brown: I am afraid, not because Mr. Brown! Objects in as much as it is strictly private.

Reporter: Is the place far?
Mrs. Brown: No, it is quite near and convenient.

Reporter: How many years has Mr. Brown been digging the hole?
Mrs. Brown: Just for about ten months.

Reporter: Is the hole deep?
Mrs. Brown: Quite so...

Reporter: Has Mr.. Brown reached the bottom of it?
Mrs. Brown: Not yet, but he is coming near...

Reporter: At about what time does Mr. Brown starts digging?
Mrs. Brown: Oh, he does his digging mostly at night.

Reporter: Does he work hard on it?
Mrs. Brown: You bet...........and how he perspires.

Reporter: Is Mr. Brown the first to dig?
Mrs. Brown: He thought he was...

Reporter: How do you know there was someone ahead! of him?
Mrs. Brown: I am in a good position to say so, because I own the place.

Reporter: Oh, I see, but you sold the place to Mr. Brown?
Mrs. Brown: No, but for the present, he has the legal title to the site, with my consent.

Reporter: Has Mr. Brown any helper when he works on the claim?
Mrs. Brown: Yes, I work under him...

Reporter: When do you think Mr. Brown will sell the place?
Mrs. Brown: I think not because he enjoys working on it.

Reporter: Can I see the twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown: Yes, certainly (and she showed him the twelve pound baby boy).

The reporter had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. :whistle: ]]> Joke Forum minarstud http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80516-twelve-pound-gold.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80515-lesson-learned.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:18:40 GMT A Marwari having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God is happy with his prays, and says “ I shall grant you one wish”... A Marwari having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God.


God is happy with his prays, and says “ I shall grant you one wish”


“One” wish?” asks the Marwari.

“Yes! ONLY ONE wish!”

Marwari: I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new air-conditioned home with two BMWs outside the garage waiting to take me & my two secretaries to my private plane!

God: Damn !!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwadi's

Lessons learnt from the above story:-

Compile all requirements and present in one line rather than boring appraiser for long time.:hmmmm: ]]> Joke Forum minarstud http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80515-lesson-learned.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80441-grandmas-tablets.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:08:50 GMT I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran's dinner.

It feels sneaky and deceitful...but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

:)):)) ]]> Joke Forum DXBDavie http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80441-grandmas-tablets.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80379-husband-down.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:26:18 GMT Husband Down A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. ... Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream andputs it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's only half the price.'

On the PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.' ]]> Joke Forum tjw61 http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80379-husband-down.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80328-atoms.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:51:33 GMT Two atoms are walking down the street when one atom says to the other, "Oh, my! I've lost an electron!"

The second atom says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "I'm positive!" ]]> Joke Forum Batman http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80328-atoms.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80327-confession.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:47:38 GMT A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice."

The priest says, "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"

"Never Father, I'm Jewish."

"So then, why are you telling me?"

"I'm telling everybody!" ]]> Joke Forum Batman http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80327-confession.html http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80326-soup.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:43:16 GMT A couple has been married for 75 years. For the husband's 95th birthday, his wife decides to surprise him by hiring a prostitute. That day, the doorbell rings. The husband uses his walker to get to the door and opens it.

A 21-year-old in a latex outfit smiles and says, "Hi, I here to give you super sex!"

The old man says, "I'll take the soup." ]]> Joke Forum Batman http://www.newsgab.com/forum/joke-forum/80326-soup.html