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Thread: Random riffs on the Angry Whopper

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    marlow_mallow is offline Broken the seal marlow_mallow is on a distinguished road
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    Default Random riffs on the Angry Whopper



    I am something of a connoisseur of junk food, and was recently inspired to write down some one-liners on the BK Angry Whopper.


    Random riffs on the Angry Whopper
    • They’re so good, I can’t be satisfied just eating them. Sometimes I throw a couple in my bath water.
    • I like that they’re called Angry. They are cathartic. Once I put four underneath my car tires, and ran them over. Then I backed up and did it again.
    • I have the Wikipedia entry for Angry Whopper bookmarked. I wrote it.
    • If Mexico had known jalapeños would someday be put on an Angry Whopper, they’d have called them angerpeños.
    • Does Burger King think Angry Whoppers in the Middle East is a good idea?
    • I have to say Angry Whopper 11 and a half times before I leave any parking lot.
    • I have a recurring dream where a very hot woman beats me with an Angry Whopper. The only downside is on waking up—I can’t get one for breakfast.
    • Happy was already taken by McDonald’s kids meals. The Worried Whopper was unanimously vetoed.
    • Some dude is eventually going to bring a lawsuit against Burger King because he was ready to snap, and having to say “angry” pushed him over the edge.
    • If we wanted aliens to know what a burger was, we’d send an Angry Whopper out into space. With napkins for their spidery little fingers. Talk about Whopper virgins.
    • True story: A few days ago, I saw a man shouting at the drive-through people. The manager called the police on the guy. Apparently the guy thought you had to get in character for an Angry Whopper.
    • This year for Lent, I gave up eating other foods besides the Angry Whopper.
    • There had better be Angry Whopper gift certificates in the economic stimulus bill. If we spend a trillion dollars and nobody that’s hungry gets an Angry Whopper, we’ve lost our perspective.
    • Whopper: Why are you angry when you are so delicious?
    • If anger were nothing more than a tasty burger, you’d have your world peace.
    Finally, the origin of it. Some guy with a hangover at the last Burger King marketing meeting said, “Um, let’s put onion rings on a burger.”

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    aoshea's Avatar
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    wow....just, well wow, no stupid marketing campaign could even come close to the sheer honesty nay commitment behind every word, every letter...i want a one, infact i'm going to get one, hell i'll get a few and have one in the bath, they should use this.
    "Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed." - G. K. Chesterton


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    nferno's Avatar
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    indeed im am in fact going to get one after i leave this hell hole they call work, and since i happen to be quite angry it should be a fitting snack for the ride home. thanks for the inspiration

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