Barney the dinosaur gets UN role

[kaerber]

NEW YORK. Children's television star Barney the Dinosaur is the latest Hollywood icon to be roped in as a goodwill ambassador by the United Nations. Barney, who joins the likes of Mia Farrow, George Clooney and Angelina Jolie as a special envoy was delighted at the appointment, commenting, "Why, that's a stuuuuuuuu-pendous idea!"

A spokesperson for the United Nations, Muriel Titicaca, said Barney would be asked to visit areas of conflict like Afghanistan, the Middle East, Middle Earth and Sudan to spread his message of friendship and love.

She said it was amazing how simple conflict resolution could be when you got down to the basics. "And people tend to react much better to the basics when it's a purple dinosaur asking you to hold hands and sing, 'I love you, you love me. We're best friends as friends should be'."

She said former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan had once ended up with two black eyes when he urged Benjamin Netanyahu and Yassir Arafat to embark on a series of trust falls.

"But of course a six foot tall Ghanaian diplomat is much more threatening than a purple dinosaur," said Titicaca.

Asked what Barney's first assignment would be, Titicaca said he would probably be asked to lay the groundwork for US President Barack Obama's proposed talks between Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas.

"We're hoping Barney will talk to them first. You know, show them that sharing is caring and sing a song or two.

"Everyone knows the words to Barney's songs," she said, "Even leaders from the Middle East."

She said it would be an undoubted win for world peace if Barney could get Netanyahu and Abbas to sing and perform the actions to his smash hit, "A great big hug and a kiss from me to you... won't you say you love me too?"

Meanwhile historians say Barney's appointment as a United Nations envoy is the first time an animated character has been elevated to the position since Maya the Bee's attempts to broker a peace deal during the Falklands War ended in a tragic mess of spandex and Baygon back in 1982.